Homeschooling and Catechetics (Part II)

Q:  I’m trying to get my son confirmed, but I have to send him to the baptist non-Catholic youth ministry (sic).  Why is it called Catholic youth ministry (CYM)?  Why don’t the children have catechism anymore?  I am homeschooling my child and we read the Baltimore catechism every day.…  I come each Wednesday night with our children because we are worried what non-Catholic material they are going to force on our children.   The only time my children’s innocence is compromised is at our Catholic youth ministry.

I tried to explain to our priest that they don’t teach the faith at all at the CYM classes.  He disagrees with me.  The policy states that a child must start CYM in September and go thru April in order to be confirmed and if the child misses more than 2 days, then they will not be confirmed.  So since I love my child and attend the CYM every week, the head of CYM is irate with me for sitting in the class and because I have my other 3 children in the same class since I’m afraid of what the other teachers will teach them and I can’t be in 4 places at one time.  My children’s ages are 12, 11 and 9 and are in the class but don’t say a word and are as good as gold.  By the way, there isn’t any Catholic learning material in the classroom except a bible.  Why can’t catechism be taught in catechism class?  I am the one who has suffered day in and day out by homeschooling, taking the children to daily Mass, taking them to first Fridays, to first Saturdays, we are consecrated to Jesus thru Mary, we pray the divine mercy chaplet daily, and the rosary daily.

The head of CYM is now forcing me to take the stupid Virtus training since I sit in the class with my child.…  I feel like my rights have been so violated with the CYM making me have criminal background check for sitting with my children at class.  There is always an adult teacher in the room so what’s the big deal… I am not a teacher or a volunteer or an employee.  Why are they harassing me so? –Cindy

A: It often happens (as here) that Catholics turn to a canon lawyer for assistance in their difficulties, when the actual problem isn’t canon-law related at all.  Yes, there may very well be canons in the code which pertain to the general situation, but they don’t provide a solution to the specific issue at hand—which must therefore be resolved in a less juridic way.  Let’s take a look at what canon law has to say about the role of the pastor in a parish’s catechism program, about the role of parents in their children’s education in the faith, and about preparation for receiving the sacrament of confirmation.  Armed with all this information, we can then look more closely at Cindy’s specific situation as a homeschooling parent with an apparently traditional mindset, and see what conclusions we can draw.

As we saw in “Who’s Responsible for Children’s Religious Education?” and “Homeschooling and Catechetics (Part I),” if you look at what the Church teaches about catechetical instruction for children, you might think at first that it involves a paradox.  On the one hand, canon 226.2 declares that parents have a very grave obligation and the right to educate their children.  It adds that Christian parents are therefore to see to the Christian education of their children, in accord with church doctrine.  Canon 1136, found in the section of the code pertaining to marriage, clearly echoes this.

On the other hand, in the section of the code which delineates the responsibilities of the parish priest we find canon 528.1.  This canon asserts that the parish priest is to see it that the faithful of the parish (including children, of course) are instructed in the faith, especially by offering catechetical instruction.  And in Book III of the code, on the Teaching Office of the Church, canon 776 tells us that the parish priest is to take care of the catechetical formation of the children, youth and adults of his parish—which includes homeschooling children.

But far from contradicting each other, these two different categories of catechetical responsibility are meant to complement each other and work together in harmony.  Think about it: it’s not the role of a priest to raise Catholic children—their upbringing is the responsibility of their parents, who are the ones who ensure that basic tenets of our faith are incorporated into daily life at home from an early age.  Likewise, the parish priest does not have authority to force children to say their prayers, to attend Mass, and to learn about the sacraments … but parents do!

At the same time, however, when it comes to providing your children with orthodox Catholic instruction in the faith, and when decisions have to be made about what constitutes solid Catholic teaching and what doesn’t, our pastors have both the authority and the knowledge to handle this.  After all, you don’t have to have an advanced degree in Catholic theology to be a parent, even a homeschooling one; but to become a parish priest you do.

Consequently, when children approach the appropriate ages for the reception of the sacraments, both parents and parish priest are charged with the duty of seeing to their adequate preparation.  Canon 914, which specifically refers to first confession and first Holy Communion, sums up the cooperation that must take place between them: “It is primarily the duty of parents …, as well as the duty of pastors, to take care that children who have reached the use of reason are prepared properly…”  As for the sacrament of confirmation, canon 890 similarly describes the two-fold responsibility of parents and parish priest when it asserts that

Parents and pastors of souls, especially pastors of parishes, are to take care that the faithful are properly instructed to receive the sacrament and come to it at the appropriate time.

Tragically, as most of us already know, this model of parent-priest cooperation doesn’t always work as it should.  Far too many Catholic parents fail in their responsibility to see to their children’s formation in the faith from their earliest years.  This was discussed in “Refusing First Holy Communion to Children Who are Ill-Prepared.”

On the flip-side, there sadly are also plenty of cases in which parish clergy have failed to provide catechetical instruction to all the children for whom they are spiritually responsible, or who have approved materials/programs which are inadequate or even unorthodox.  We saw one such situation in “Excommunication and the Authority of the Parish Priest.”  As was discussed in that article, parishioners who encounter such a problem at their parish—or who think they do—should respectfully notify the diocesan bishop.  It is the bishop who is the parish priest’s superior, and thus has the power to enforce change if he determines that a problem does indeed exist at the parish.  After all, ensuring that parish clergy are catechizing the faithful properly is ultimately his responsibility (see c. 386.1).

All of this should now lead us logically to Cindy’s situation.  Let’s unpack what she tells us.

The parish to which Cindy’s family belongs has a catechetical program, and it is (as is appropriate) open to homeschooling children as well as those attending regular schools.  So far, so good!  And it includes a specific level of catechesis for those who will be confirmed—at which, Cindy observes, attendance is mandatory.  Again, this is entirely appropriate: if the faithful are to receive a sacrament, their parish priest is responsible for their preparation, and how can they be prepared if they don’t show up?

What has raised Cindy’s ire seems to be not that the parish has a catechetical program, but the content of that program, which she describes as “baptist non-Catholic” (i.e., heretical in nature), devoid of “Catholic learning material,” and compromising her children’s innocence in some non-specified way(s).  It’s worth pointing out that while Cindy’s numerous emails to this site were far longer than the abbreviated question above, she failed to name the catechism or catechetical program that her parish uses, or to detail the ways that her children’s innocence is being compromised.  One of very few concrete examples she provided was this video about prayer, which she rightly notes was created by non-Catholics.  Have a look, if you like, and try to identify any theological point which is heretical or specifically non-Catholic.

Cindy notes that she objected to the pastor about the content of the catechism program, but “he disagrees.”  Cindy could, if she wished, contact the diocesan bishop, documenting her concerns about heterodox materials being taught at her parish; but it doesn’t appear that she has done so—at least, not yet.

In any event, Cindy insists, as a homeschooling parent, that she wants to be present at all of her son’s catechism classes (which the parish permits).  It’s pretty obvious that she doesn’t trust anything that the catechist is teaching her son, and wants to see/hear it for herself, because “I love my child.”  The interesting twist here is that when Cindy hears what she declares is heterodox teaching … she does nothing.  She does not object, she doesn’t protest or try to correct the catechist; she simply sits there in silence.

We know this, because to one of her emails Cindy attached a letter from the “irate” head of CYM at her parish.  This is the person whom Cindy accuses of “harassing me so” and violating Cindy’s rights, by insisting that Cindy must undergo the training/background check mandated by the diocese for all adults who spend time on parish property in the presence of children.  In our era of rampant sexual abuse of children, such a policy has become routine in many dioceses of the world, both to protect children and to minimize a diocese’s legal liability.

Far from violating anyone’s rights, the letter is a veritable masterpiece of professional courtesy.  The head of CYM explains the reasons for the training requirement, and even offers to help Cindy if she has any difficulty signing up.  She also invites Cindy to register her other children for catechism classes in their respective age-groups, noting that Cindy will be free to walk between the different classrooms to see what each is doing.

If Cindy had been routinely interrupting her son’s catechist in class, by protesting or correcting what is being taught, it is unthinkable that the parish would continue to allow her to be present.  Such disturbances would be solid grounds for firmly asking Cindy to leave (see “Can a Pastor Ban a Parishioner from Coming to Mass?” for discussion of disruptive behavior in a different, but comparable situation).  Consequently, you have to wonder why she comes.  What purpose does it serve?  And while we’re on the subject, what message is she sending to her own children, about the Catholic Church, their parish, their priest, the sacrament of confirmation, and the catechism program which her son attends?

Regardless, as we’ve seen, Cindy’s reaction to this letter was to contact a canon lawyer.

It’s very easy to dismiss this sad scenario as an extreme and isolated case of a Catholic homeschooling parent gone rogue—but it may serve in part to explain the irritation and hostility that many clergy and lay parish employees sometimes exhibit toward those parishioners who strive for theological orthodoxy and Catholic tradition.  There is only one Cindy, but there are far too many other homeschooling parents—and other traditional Catholics—who are long on criticism and destructive comments, but short on theological knowledge of their own.  Although well intentioned, such Catholics can be quick to object and slow to offer a constructive alternative (why not volunteer to teach catechism yourself, for example?).  Sadly, the countless faithful, traditional Catholics, who don’t constantly criticize and protest, often find themselves lumped by their clergy into the same category as those who do.

In short, Cindy’s situation isn’t a legal matter; you could say that it’s a matter of charity as well as a matter of optics.  So what should we take away from this isolated case?  Firstly, if you feel that someone in an authority position in your parish or diocese is spreading teachings which aren’t consistent with Catholic doctrine, educate yourself to make sure you’re on the right track.  Next, if it proves necessary to voice your concerns, remember to do so constructively, in a spirit of charity.  If your children are involved, don’t forget that they are always watching you, and learning from your example!  And finally, don’t lose sight of the fact that the message you want to convey can be tarnished by the manner in which it’s delivered.  Other Catholics, as well as non-Catholics, should be able to look at you and see Christ-like behavior, even if they don’t understand or agree with you.  Perhaps the best part is that nobody needs to hire a canon lawyer to do this.

Why is Google hiding the posts on this website in its search results?  Click here for more information.