When is a “Natural Marriage” a Valid Marriage?

Q: I am engaged to a non-baptized person and he is not willing to be baptized to marry me in the Catholic Church, as he thinks it is hypocritical. I would like some advice regarding whether or not there is effectively “any point” from a Catholic perspective in having a non-sacramental marriage vs a blessing following a civil ceremony.

My fiancé says he is an atheist.  I still believe in God and the fundamentals of Catholicism.  I’ve heeded the warnings, don’t worry, but we share exactly the same moral views … [and] my fiancé is willing to raise our children as Catholic.

Anyway, I have read your website on Canon Law and understand that if I marry a non-baptized person that it is then just a “natural marriage.”  If this is the case, then is there any real benefit from the Catholic point of view in marrying in a Church if the marriage is not recognized as a Catholic marriage?  I wondered what the difference is really, if at all, from a non-sacramental marriage and a civil ceremony with a blessing afterwards? … Whilst your website is very helpful, I have not as yet come across anything to suggest that there is really any benefit in the eyes of God between a blessing following a civil ceremony and a non-sacramental marriage. –Aisha

A:  There is an astonishing amount of confusion about terms like “natural marriage” and “non-sacramental marriage,” which get bandied about by prospective Catholic spouses all the time.  Some, like Aisha, are sincerely perplexed and glad to receive accurate information, after which they often change their minds accordingly.  But other Catholics, unfortunately, try to twist this type of terminology in an attempt to justify getting married—invalidly—outside the Church.  Basic aspects of this issue were already discussed in “Catholics in Non-Sacramental Marriages”; but let’s revisit the correct definition of a “non-sacramental marriage,” and then see how the term “natural marriage” fits (or doesn’t) into the equation.  Then we’ll take a look at the notion of “a blessing following a civil ceremony,” which Aisha mentions.  Ultimately, we should be able to deduce the answers to Aisha’s questions.

Canon 1055.2 declares that “a valid matrimonial contract cannot exist between the baptized without it being by that fact a sacrament.”  A non-sacramental marriage, in contrast, is a marriage of either two non-baptized persons, or a baptized and a non-baptized person.  Most people quickly grasp the reason why the marriage of (for example) two Muslims, or Buddhists, or atheists is not sacramental; but why would the marriage of, let’s say, a Catholic and a Jew be non-sacramental too?  The marriage of a Catholic to a non-baptized person is always non-sacramental by definition, because baptism is necessary before a person can receive any of the other sacraments (cf. c. 849, which notes that baptism is the “gateway to the sacraments”).  If one party to the marriage is not baptized, he/she is thus unable to receive the sacrament of marriage.  And if one spouse cannot receive the sacrament, the other spouse—even if he/she is baptized—does not receive it either, because there’s no such thing as a marriage that is sacramental for one spouse, and non-sacramental for the other.  See  “If a Catholic Marries a Non-Christian, How is it a Sacrament?” for more on this.

Let’s move on to another important point which is directly relevant here.  As has been discussed so many, many times before in this space, Catholics must, for validity, marry in accord with canonical form.  The history behind this requirement was discussed in more detail in “Can a Catholic Ever Get Married in a Non-Catholic Church?” but in short, Catholics are required to marry in the presence of either one’s pastor, or another priest or deacon deputed by him (c. 1108).  This is mandatory for a spouse who is Catholic, regardless of whether the other spouse is baptized or not!  Consequently, if a Catholic marries in a non-Catholic ceremony without first obtaining a dispensation from the diocesan bishop (see the article cited above for more on how this works), the marriage is invalid, period.  This has absolutely nothing to do with the sacramentality or non-sacramentality of the marriage, as that is a completely separate issue.

In Aisha’s case, if she were to validly marry an atheist (who we will presume is unbaptized) in a non-Catholic ceremony, she’d actually need first to obtain a two different dispensations: the first would be from disparity of cult, since she is marrying a non-Christian (c. 1086, discussed in “Marriage Between a Catholic and a Non-Catholic”), and the second would be from canonical form, as just described above.  Note that dispensations like these are not granted automatically; Aisha’s diocesan bishop will have to determine whether the circumstances justify the granting of these dispensations in her case.

If Aisha does indeed end up receiving both these dispensations, and validly marries a non-Christian in a non-Catholic wedding ceremony, it is true that her marriage will be non-sacramental—but that’s solely because her husband is not baptized.  In other words, her valid marriage will be non-sacramental, regardless of whether she marries in a Catholic ceremony, or if she gets a dispensation from canonical form and has a civil wedding.

Now that we’ve seen what a “non-sacramental marriage” is (and isn’t), let’s move on to the next point.  How does the concept of a “natural marriage” fit into all this?

Aisha is quite incorrect when she asserts, “I have read your website on Canon Law and understand that if I marry a non-baptized person that it is then just a ‘natural marriage.’”  The term has not been used on this website in a canonical sense, as it is not found in the Code of Canon Law at all.  It presumably derives from the notion that all human beings have a natural right to marry.

The desire to seek out a member of the opposite sex, and to have children with him/her, is a natural, normal, healthy part of being human!  As such, it cannot be restricted only to Catholics, or only to baptized Christians.  The Church recognizes that non-Christians marry too—it’s just that the marriage of non-Christians isn’t a sacrament.

When two Jews, for example, marry in a Jewish wedding ceremony, the Catholic Church accepts that they are, of course, really getting married!  If they are sincerely doing what their own faith tells them they need to do, then they can hardly be faulted in any way by the Church.

Within the context of marriage, this means that the Catholic Church will not—because it cannot—claim that you can only get married if you are a Catholic, or only if you’re a baptized Christian.  So far as the Church is concerned, non-Christians have “real” marriages too.  As noted above, sometimes they’re referred to colloquially as natural marriages.

If you compare this correct notion of a “natural marriage” with Aisha’s own situation, it should be evident that she is not using the term accurately at all.  Quite the contrary: her proposal to marry in a civil ceremony, without a dispensation, would amount to an invalid marriage—which isn’t a marriage.  Put differently, the term “natural marriage” refers to a valid marriage between non-Christians.  It definitely cannot be used to describe the invalid marriage of a Catholic outside the Church.

Finally, let’s look at Aisha’s repeated references to “a blessing following a civil ceremony.”  She is suggesting that if she marries invalidly in a non-Catholic wedding ceremony, she could have a priest give the couple a blessing afterwards, which would make it all right.  Where does this idea come from?

When asked, Aisha wasn’t really sure!  A (Catholic) relative had suggested it to her as a legitimate option, and it sounded reasonable to her.  In actuality, though, readers should already appreciate that this is nonsense—because we’ve just seen what is required for a valid Catholic marriage, and receiving “a blessing” after an invalid wedding doesn’t cut it.

Sadly, there is an incredible amount of confusion about the decidedly non-juridic phrase, “having your marriage blessed.”  We looked at this in depth in “What Does it Mean to Have Your Marriage Blessed? (Part I),” “Part II,” and “Part III,” as well as “How Did My Ex Remarry in the Church, Since We Never Got an Annulment?”  Suffice to say that it doesn’t mean marrying invalidly outside the Church, and then simply waltzing up to some Catholic priest and asking him to bless you.  As has been shown here so many times, the reality is far more complex, and for very solid theological reasons.

By now, what Aisha needs to do should be clear (and she willingly acknowledged it).  Yes, it is entirely possible for a Catholic to marry an atheist in a Catholic ceremony, after getting a dispensation from the local bishop for marrying a non-Christian.  No, it is not possible to marry him outside the Church—unless Aisha obtains a dispensation from canonical form in advance.  And it’s likewise impossible to “fix” an invalid marriage merely by seeking a blessing from one’s priest after the fact.  Hers will indeed be a non-sacramental marriage, provided that it is celebrated validly in the eyes of the Church.

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